Peripheral Vision
by jobelle516
Summary: Glee one shots. Trigger warnings! Dealing with negatives, like grief from death and hurts.
1. Eulogy

**Ownership: **Glee and other's words, no. But mine, yes.

* * *

Have you ever made a mistake? Yes, well continue reading.

I have an addiction, and it led me to a great story called How Could This Happen to Me? by**_ cj . sharpiequeen _**

* * *

**~ Eulogy ~**

Writing some words for a Eulogy can be difficult. Writing one for the one you wanted to spend eternity with, even more difficult.

Having the guy who broke your sweetheart's heart, to help you, even more again.

But, somehow, I need Logan here with me.

He knew Blaine before I did. He knew Blaine quite well.

He loved me, he still does, he always will.

I'd sat at the very shiny black piano for so long, when in walks Logan. I was aware of his eyes on me, and Julian's too.

Julian's were from possessive jealousy, Logan's pure desire.

Logan and I have finished another rehearsal, he's gone with Julian and I'm sitting here, not really wanting to move.

Closing my eyes, I take my mind back to David's car.

I'd been admiring Blaine while he drove. My mind drifting here, there and everywhere, all over him.

"Enjoying yourself?" I heard him, I still hear him now. And then a noise that broke everything.

When I concentrate on where we were going, I can hear him ordering "I'll have a medium drip latte for me, and a non fat mocha for my freind Billy Crystal here. And I might talk him into splitting one of those cookies please?"

"You know my coffee order?" I couldn't help but question.

"Of course I do, silly." He will always whisper ...

I'll enjoy Valentine's day somehow. After the funeral, I'll sit in the Lima Bean with everyone else. Reed and Shane will enjoy, David and Katherine.

Shuddering, inhaling, my ears want to hear what I'm certain my body just felt.

Staring at the keys, eyes filling with tears that one after another slowly drip down.

Sniffle and cough!

"I can see you." But I don't move my eyes or head, that's when he'll disappear.

"You're here, I know. You don't have to be so quiet, I'm not going anywhere just now."


	2. Autopsy

**Ownership: **Glee and other's word, no. But mine I do.

**Trigger Warnings: **This one might upset, so tread carefully then.

* * *

Have you ever made a mistake? Yes, well continue reading. You might want a stiff drink, your choice.

I have an addiction, and it led me to a great story called How Could This Happen to Me? by_** cj . sharpiequeen**_

* * *

**~ Autopsy ~**

~ o ~

It was always easier removing any clothing, a pair of scissors works wonders, especially when they're very sharp. Easier if the clothing wasn't required again.

This body was already undressed.

He had died in an alley, suspected heart attack or drug overdose. Considering his lifestyle, it'd be amazing if he lived past the age of 35. As it is though, he was just 24, so damn young.

He'd been in the dance club, partying hard. They wrecked his body and he enjoyed all that he could. They were good enough to carry him outside, so he could enjoy some fresh air, before his last. But they also removed his clothing, maybe as trophies.

Not that the mortuary assistant could tell what they did with him, or could he?

What the assistant could tell though, just from looking, was how friggin' gorgeous and beautiful he was, had been. Actually, even in death his body was adorable.

He was very fortunate that his body was not mangled. Most of the bodies that came through here, were pretty badly messed up. And that sometimes made his job very difficult.

As it is today, this body was very well intact. But this also made the job difficult, because honestly, what a waste of a good body and life.

He moved the body quite easily, when the limbs were required to move, they obeyed. The required procedures were done, and certainly tears would fall at the end of the mortuary assistant's shift.

The family would receive the necessary report, from the Coroner. The assistant would send a bouquet of flowers, one of his quirky contacts with them. If the body was truly beautiful, like this one, he would attend the funeral. Friday afternoon was now being reserved and an application for leave from work, would need to be filled in.

The feet were long from the heel to toe tips. The ankles showed where socks and sunshine met. The legs up to the knees were waxed, above contained natural growth, so too did the most delicate areas. The torso was slim and would have been quite firm, when alive with blood coursing through it's veins. It held a quality six pack, in the stomach area, the arms had been lifting weights and the shoulders and upper back showed quality working out too.

So what was the cause of this guy's demise? No obvious signs of a needle having been inserted anywhere. Under the finger nails were clean. The inner elbows were clean too.

The throat was clean of damage, so no obvious assault should be recorded. Other orifices were clean of damage. The assistant hated this job, but also appreciated his contribution to society.

A job that is done behind the scenes, behind the curtains of respectable conversations. A necessary job, "Everyone deserves it known how they passed on." That was what his most respected colleague had said, and that's why he is so dedicated to this profession.

Speaking of professions, the John Doe on his table, was not your classic Gigolo.

Necessary vials of specimens would be sent for toxicology reporting. Hopefully coming back with respectful answers.

~ o ~

Hey there, I'd sigh if I could breathe, however, I can't and therefore nothing much is happening.

You move me as you do, thankyou for being so careful.

Ouch, the needles actually still hurt. When do I stop feeling so much?

Yeah okay, don't answer me, I realise that my thoughts are not being heard by anyone within hearing distance.

Yep, my feet still tickle. Thank you for covering them up, when you'd finished. As it turns out, my feet actually feel cold now.

I'll skip the rest of the commentary of your autopsy. Suffice to say, you are delicate through this uncomfortable process.

Can you believe that the last song I remember is Happy Ending, by Mika. It's what was playing just before my little heart gave out.

Well, it didn't just stop and give out.

Can you write down for me how painful my death was? I'd really appreciate you answering me, I can't quite see what you're writing and I can't hear your thoughts.

Well I say now that it was painful, but my sister will always differ with that understanding. Apparently when you've had one huge child, the rest of pain in life, isn't that bad.

But this stopping of my heart, my lungs stopping too, really hurt. Although, not as much as the Dentist.

Anyway, I just want to thank you for being so careful.

Hey, can you stop writing for a moment and listen to something important?

_The assistant stops what he's doing, and looks on the male body, as if hearing some important conversation._

I really had so much left to do. I can't believe my time has changed here.

I had a bucket list you know? It was full of so many wasted opportunities, but also of opportunities that I know I could've made possible.

Do me a big favour? Don't waste what opportunities you have.

I was stupid with mucking around with different drugs and lifestyle choices.

I had a great guy. Damn! Now I realize he won't hear of my dying, from me. Shit! What can we do about that?

Damn, I'm going to miss him so much. If I could raise a boner, man I would. I am going to miss boner's aren't I?

This slab is kind of cold you know? Anything you can do about that?

Actually this talk of what I'm going to miss and what I'm feeling now, shouldn't this be changing to something more magical, wonderful and terrific?

~ o ~

The autopsy took it's time, these things can't be rushed.

The Undertaker would be called, the body is ready for releasing.

The attendant tidies up the physical appearance, as best he can.

Pants are put over the lower half. Socks and comfortable shoes on the feet. Lifting the torso, had nearly hurt his own back.

The crisp white shirt, made him look quite dapper! Doing one button at a time, up to the neck, a very comfortable feeling. Just doing it on a cold body was so different than his morning experience.

A dark purple bow tie, with correct positioning. Cufflinks that matched the tie and kerchief.

Just a few more gentle prods and positioning's.

The final personal touch would be placing a blanket just under the chin.

~ o ~

Hey, um thanks for all you've done.

That cologne you're wearing, what is it? Honestly I appreciate even the fabric softener that you used. Some people don't know how to compliment their deodorants, colognes and cleaning scents.

That one suits you. Kind of a gentle lolly musk and vanilla.

Darn and sigh if I could. I'm going to miss kissing him. You should pay attention to some of this, so as you can soak up what you can, while you can.

His kisses were always so gentle, actually I lie somewhat.

He was just as passionate as I was. Aggressive was his middle name, at times. Damn, I can't even remember the last time we kissed and hugged.

I'm sure it wasn't that long ago. I suppose, then, this is my mind having the slate wiped clean, do you think?

Yeah, I'd sigh again if I could. My heart has stopped hurting so much.

The hurts from previous relationships was worse, this is kind of comforting. I'm looking forward to the rest of this journey now.

Is anyone coming to view me? I think you've done the make up well enough, but you should've put some gel in my hair.

Can, can I have a pillow please?

_The assistant places a pillow under the head._

Thanks, that's much better. _An eye is pried open. _Hey there you are. You're quite lovely.

If I could smile and wink, I would you know. _The eye is closed and then the other is opened. _There you are again, what is this, peekaboo or something?

Are you crying? What is so sad and upsetting that makes you shed a tear?

_The assistant's job is finished, the lights are left on and he pulls the door closed behind him._

I'll just lie here and sing in my mind then, will I?

Hello?


	3. Kiss Better

Have you ever made a mistake? Yes? Well continue reading. You might want some tissues or soft piece of material, a purple soft piece of material.

I had an addiction, and it led me to a great story called How Could This Happen to Me? by_** cj . sharpiequeen**_

* * *

**~ Kiss Better ch 3 ~**

_~ No! Wait, what? ~_

_Wow! Look at you!_

_Wait, did you hear what I said? Is that why you moved when I spoke? Yeah you're right, you can't hear my silence._

_So let me paint the picture for you, of what I'm seeing._

_Let this seep into your sleeping, unconscious mind._

_~ sigh! ~_

_You're asleep, so perfectly beautiful. In our bed. It's still our bed, isn't it? Even though I'll never get to sleep in it again._

_Oh damn, my heart aches and I wish I could sob and cry and get some air in and out of these stupid lungs._

_Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, don't stir, don't stir! Shshshsh!_

_Okay, that's much better, quiet little angle, don't say a word, Mama's gonna buy you a …. _

_Wipe my forehead, phew! You nearly woke up and if you did that you'd probably look around, and I'd disappear instantly._

_I just want to sit and watch you sleeping._

_I want to be on the edge of our bed and admire your body, yourself that I can make out through the blankets. _

_Where your feet start and upward, along under the purple, half inch thick, woollen blend blanket. And the satin edges, how shiny and complimentary to the small of your back, where it meets you…. Hmmmm God, you are just so adorable._

_You've still got that mark where I bit you. I'll call that a Love Scar then._

_~ bigger sigh! ~_

_What is that, … that, on, on your shoulder blade? Don't turn over, stop, wait, WHAT! _

_Did you get a tattoo? Why would you mark yourself with my name? You won't see it, unless you're going to stand in a mirror and look at it._

_Don't get me wrong, they did a great job, but scratching my name isn't going to bring me back._

_Anyway, it really doesn't make a difference to what I want to do with you. The things I miss and want so much._

_~ tears form ~_

_Have you been working out? Your arms are certainly getting quite muscular, so …. buff! God, you're going to make me miss those arms around me. Ugh!_

_Those arms, the way you hugged! You know you're the best, don't you?_

_I sure hope you could, kind of, maybe, hopefully feel how my hand is just hovering above your shoulder here?_

_And now your neck. Geeze I giggle so, you should see the hairs on your neck, rising to meet me._

_~ blow softly kisses,_ _shiver! ~_

_You know your hair has grown two millimetres since yesterday morning?_

_I'm not stalking you, well, maybe just a little._

_But yesterday morning, after your shower, the way you combed, it was definitely shorter then._

_Now I'm remembering that stupid song you keep playing. Do you think you could stop? It's driving the neighbours to annoyance._

_If I could turn back time, if I could find a way. I'd take back all the pills from my hand, and put them back in the bottle._

_~ sigh! ~_

_Aggravation isn't helping. I could never be upset with you, for long._

_Obviously it's what you want and need, isn't it?_

_You know what would really help? If you could put up a board of all our make outs, of all our kisses._

_Can I just lie here with you? And hold myself still and face you and watch you sleep so peacefully ….. and wish I could just touch your lips with mine, taste your nothingness, and when you let me in, feel your warmth. God! I miss feeling you._

_You know I'll always love your button nose? I could trace it all over, all day._

_Up to between your eyes, oh you are just too much for me._

_You've gone and got an ear piercing? ARE YOU SERIOUS?_

_Okay, well it is a nice sparkly blue, but I suppose …, I suppose I would have loved you to have done these things with me, when you could see how much I love this rebellious side of you._

_You really are growing out of your old skin. Your old skin of me._

_Oh! I've just realized. You're getting over me, aren't you?_

_What the hell! You, you sod, you blasted sod!_

_You're going to get over me, you're going to get on with your life and get over me being here. AREN'T YOU?_

_DAMN! I'm getting pretty pissed off now! Geeze, I didn't see this coming did I!_

_~ oops! ~_

_Wait, no, no, no, Nooo! Don't stir, don't wake!_

_It's all good, this is all innocent. Sorry, sorry, please, please go back to sleep?_

_So let me start again._

_Whoa, nearly knocked the vase over._

_So, your feet, satin edge of blanket on your lower back, wish I could pull said blanket up and cover your back. Although I loooove your back, I just miss being able to touch you and you look like you'll get a chill._

_Your back, your shoulders, oh God your arms, one under your oh so cute dimpled chin, other one stretched out to where I should be, lying with you in our bed. Your chin, oops back to your shoulder, that scar on your neck, your new ear ring, your pixie ears, your side burns, your cheek, your fringe is getting longer, your eyes, your nose and oh dear, your mouth, your … your lips again._

_~ sooky la la, sniffle, wipe, sniffle! ~_

_And now I want to sing and scream that song._

_It's curfew time, I have to go. But can you please do me something important, really, really important for me?_

_Can you please, please, please, PLEASE, put together a photo montage of all our kisses, and hugs, and quality embraces, and the time you put nail polish on me while I was sleeping? And the one of me dressing you up as a clown, that one is priceless._

_Then, when I come back and look at them I can remember what I know I'm going to miss. The electricity, the urgency, the wants. The waiting with anticipation as you stopped two seconds from touching my lips with yours, and said those teasing words "I'll see you downstairs!"._

_Also, please still do this for me? But, also, I know when you see the collection of us, that you'll hopefully not forget me._

_I suppose I'm mourning me too, I'm mourning us._

_I wish I could kiss you better, make this all better. This, this shit that we're now in._

_~ Xxxxxx ~_


	4. Insert KurBas Love Hearts

_**Ownership Disclaimer:**_ Glee? No. But mine, yes.

* * *

Have you ever made a mistake? Yes? Well continue reading.

Warning: MxF.

I had an addiction, and it led me to a great story called For All The Little Angels by _**fhartz91**_ from the fan fic site Archive of Our Own(beta) **btw:** my stories are nothing like the writers I mention, I just want to shout out and let you know where I get my inspiration from.

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**~ Insert KurBas Love Hearts ch 4 ~**

The party was great, sufficient amount of food, sufficient amount of alcohol. Quality music and gorgeous bodies, dancing, grinding, making out.

Every one had just about paired up and out. Except Sebastian. Tonight he was the odd man out.

And the ugly girl in the corner, the one no body wanted at all. She was out of place too.

"Whoa sailor?" Kurt and his latest fling have bumped into him, his drink spilling over his shirt.

Kurt pries the lips off his, checks Sebastian is still gorgeous and continues back with his Hunny of the night.

Sebastian watches Kurt and his Hunny making out. He'd been aroused for a sufficient amount of the night, and now a burning anger was driving through his veins.

Kurt, the love of his life who couldn't wait for romance to blossom from Sebastian.

Those sounds that Kurt's making, he could make him beg for more than that. Sebastian could see that the Hunny was trying and hitting the right spots, out of pure luck.

They bump into Sebastian again, this time Sebastian just pushes them back.

Kurt opens his eyes, as his Hunny is biting and sucking his neck. He's looking straight into Sebastian's eyes, talking through sight. _I wish this were you. Yeah, I wish it were me too._

Kurt looks down at Sebastian's pants, knowing full well that forward angle is hiding a most precious gift. He blinks back up to Sebastian.

The music is infectious, rhythm prompting.

Sebastian drinks more from his glass. His eyes never leaving Kurt's honed in pair.

Kurt breaks to lift the Hunny to his mouth, for a much need deep kiss. As they kiss, he opens the eye that would see Sebastian still watching. This time, Sebastian has his drink stopped at his mouth, unable to continue swallowing anything.

Kurt breaks the kiss and repositions his Hunny to the other side of his neck.

"Is this alright?" The Hunny asks.

"Stop talking and just continue." Is all Kurt can manage, eyes firmly locked with Sebastian.

Sebastian gets a tap at his elbow, he looks down. It's the ugly girl from the corner.

"Would you like to make out with me?"

He coughs on his drink.

"I'm clean." she says, as if that were the problem.

Sebastian looks up to Kurt, seeming to ask for permission. Kurt's pashing on with his Hunny, they're moving in all manners of deep delight.

Sebastian clears his throat, a bit louder.

Kurt breaks and turns to Sebastian, "Go for it. Better than nothing, and then you can turn her over."

The girl drags Sebastian away from the party room. She takes him to a side bedroom.

She takes her clothes off, sits on the bed, looks at him. "Well, I'm ready."

No romance at all, nothing to entice him.

But he's hard as a rock and needing a release. "What the _f…_, why not?"

He pushes her back and starts, but he's out of sorts, it's his first time with a female.

"Do you have a condom?" she asks.

"A what?"

"Don't worry about it then. I'm in the middle of my cycle anyhow."

"Can we turn the light off?" _What the hell Smythe, asking permission now?_

_~ twenty minutes later ~_

He walks out of the room, doing his zip up. With the lights off, once one way and turning her over, once the other way. One for each ball.

He checks in on Kurt as he walks by the party room. Him and his Hunny are out to the land of nod, on the only sofa in the room. Probably having a release through clothing.

_~ six weeks later ~_

Sebastian's phone vibrates, he doesn't know the number so he doesn't answer it.

Twenty groups of vibrations later, he blocks the number from disturbing him.

Pulling the shop door open, he bends down to pick up an envelope with his name on it.

It's a note from the ugly girl at the party.

"What the F…?" He's as white as a ghost.

So many calls and appointments later, he drives her home from the very last appointment.

_~ party time ~_

The music is just as loud, the party goers look a little different. Quality music, gorgeous bodies, dancing, grinding, making out.

Sebastian spots the Hunny on the dance floor. Arms in the air, hip bumping someone new. Arms around the someone new, kissing and grinding a little more.

He sips his drink, unconsciously bopping along with the beat.

"Hi there!" A familiar voice has him turn around.

"Hey there back at you."

"How was she?"

"She wasn't you."

"What else is new then?"

"I have my own supply of condoms now."

"Want to try them out?"

"You think you'll get pregnant?"

"No, definitely never possible of that, but he." Nodding toward the Hunny on the dance floor. "He's not clean, so I'm a little unclean too."

"Anything antibiotics can fix?" Sebastian asks, through a little smile.

"Thank God yes."

He grabs Sebastian by his waist, dragging him out of the party.

_ ~ {insert KurBas love hearts} ~_


End file.
